I haven't had a family turning point in a really long time. Not since I was eleven or so, I think I was, when my brother ran away from home to our dad's house. Yes, my parents are separated, but it never bothered me because it's been the case since I was two years old.
Now, my mom has been struggling to find work in nuclear medicine, a field for which she had just finished an 18-month program on. There are practically no jobs available and she's been forced to having to apply for jobs to areas way out of town, even out of state. She got a call back finally, after weeks of looking every day for 6-8 hours a day, but it is across state. I won't be seeing her very much anymore if she gets the job. She'll be pretty much gone.
I haven't been without my mom EVER. She provides for me, she gives me advice and encouragement, and now she'll be gone. Hell, I'd probably become fat and lazy from her not being there to nag at me and make me meals that are too healthy. And I've got to get along with my step dad, now. I mean, I do "get along" with him fine, it's just that we're not the kind of people who would ever become friends. I've always felt awkward around him when my mom wasn't there. I guess I have to get over that, now.
I don't know what to do. Even now, I can't even imagine life without her.
1 comment:
Hey you! I really missed reading your entries. I have plenty to catch up on. :)
I can relate to how you're feeling. My mom is my everything. My momcentric solar system in which I revolve around her.
I feel awkward around my dad when I am alone with him. I am so use to always being around my mom that father-daughter bonding times just feel weird.
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