Faux Pas

Help me, help me. I'm debating upon blog titles, because I just can't seem to find the right one and I'm an incredibly indecisive person.

(See the yin and yang symbol? Lucky shot.)

1.) Secretly Not <-- what I'm leaning towards.
2.) Fact Not Fiction
3.) Thaumaturge <-- this was my old, old blog's old, old name.

4.) What Was Never Taught

5.) Cream Cheese is Good <-- just kidding.

6.) Sophisticated?

7.) Dont Panic <-- because it's the current one.

8.) Iconic <-- the old name.

9.) Skyrocket Away <-- probably not.

10.) Damn Straight <-- lol.

I haven't written "lol" in a blog entry for ages. Well it's about time.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

So? Did you guys see the Harry Potter trailer? The new extended one? Have you?



And the international one? Eh? Did you?



I think I pretty much squealed at both of them. They reveal so much more than the first trailer, let alone that bloody useless sneak peak trailer. This has been a good 10 year obsession... I'm still reading fanfiction, although it's hg/ss to be honest.

I've been roughing out my school and work. I think, maybe, I'll manage. We'll just see. My mom was giving me a pep talk today before I headed off to school, since I was grimacing. Then at work I had to deal with some pretty lousy people and annoying coworkers. I need another hug from my man. No, he's not quite my boyfriend; I'm just calling him my man from now on.

Sweetheart.

I've been using vanilla extract a lot lately and experimenting culinarily with things I make often. I usually make my muffins out of those premixed packages where all you need is oil and water/milk and eggs. Well, what I did the other day was I took a cinnamon mix, eggs, replaced the oil with all milk, and then added some vanilla extract, orange zest, and dried cranberries. It was awesome.

Another awesome concoction was plain Cheerios with real honey drizzled on top (none of that Honey Nut Cheerios stuff) and use a measuring cup or some such container to mix in some vanilla extract into the milk before pouring. Adding banana is another bonus. It's like a yummy treat for breakfast that's actually good for you. Now, isn't that nice?

I also played around with drinks, like tea and chocolate milk. Putting vanilla extract in chocolate milk totally brings out the flavors even more and it tastes amazing. I heard that the English ask for milk in their tea and decided to try that out with my orange spice tea. It was pretty good, especially adding honey and, what else, vanilla extract.

I'm in a good mood. I think I'm pretty much enamoured. And I feel even better because I'm cuddled up in a blanket on my bed at the moment, as well as listening to one of the cutest love songs, "Your Guardian Angel" by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

This guy I'm into is starting to publically show affection towards me, like hugging and keeping close by. I had been wondering if he was still going out with his old girlfriend for the past few months (I never had the courage to ask), but I'm starting to have doubts that he is, what with this behavior of his. He's always calling me sweetie, and telling me I'm so cute all the time and how I make his day... I just want to sort of sigh into a puddle of daydreams. I hope his work schedule dies down a bit soon so we can go see that movie he's promised me for five months. Poor guy.

Oh, here's something for hilarity's sake. My math book actually says, "Think about this for 15 minutes or so; look back ... and see why things still work." I mean, the book is actually telling you, yeah you probably didn't understand what I just said so just ponder it over in that tiny little brain of yours for a quarter of an hour. Seriously, this is when you know you're doing the "hard stuff." That's pretty bad, but for it to actually say so, is rad.

I'm thinking of renaming this blog again. Yeah, I'm lame. I'm pondering over "Fact Not Fiction."

Maybe. Perhaps.

At this very moment, I feel awesome, approachable, miraculous, inspired, loved, and even energetic, despite it being 9:30 at night. I just had a gosh darn good day, considering. I got three awesome hugs today (from the same person), was told that I made their day, was high-fived and waved fanatically at, joked, and discovered a bodily breakthrough.

This discovery had to do with my being able to see the backs of my eyeballs by only looking up into the night sky. That probably sounds really weird, but I got another coworker to be able to see it, too. Basically I was out on my break and I was laying down on the benches outside looking up at the night sky. There were a bunch of lights glaring from the building above me, but one especially was just above me.

I was looking up at the stars and noticed a sort of blur wandering around in my range of vision. This sort of wandering is relative to if you accidentally look at the sun for a moment and are temporarily blind in an area of vision while it follows your eye around? Well, eventually I noticed that the image looked like a bunch of branches from a tree and realized that I was seeing the veins in the back of my eyeball. When I followed the image back and forth across my range of vision (it moved when I moved my eyes), it got clearer and I could distinctly see each vein.

It was totally awesome. I haven't been able to see it anywhere else besides that spot outside work and at night. I'm pretty sure it has to do with one source of light coming into your eyeball and then having a black backround to be able to see the reflection in your eye against. So if you're ever in a similar setting, try it out. It might be a bit difficult to start since it's hard to find what you're looking for, but it's totally worth the feeling of discovery.

Ahoy, and other nautical expressions!

I managed to squeeze in some photographing time before heading off to school. It's my eye and a reflection of the front yard and neighboring house. You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to get just the right focus for situations like this.

Okay, I know my last entry was just a tad bit dramatic, but I'm feeling better today. To be honest though, that's probably because I'm not going to work today.

Old Disney movies have been on my mind recently. I think I wrote about this before, actually, but that was still when watch-movies.net was still working, where you could watch movies for free online. So I actually have to go to Blockbuster and pay for the old Disney movie viewing pleasures, now. Which, I think, isn't really worth the money. I feel at a loss. After being able to see movies for free I feel like I'm being ripped off when I have to pay to see them. Harh.

This medicine's not working.

Coming into work today was torturous to the point of extensive cranial pressure. That sounds worse than it is, but for whatever reason I have the need to bawl at arrival. It seems like each new school semester I have an urge to quit work, or school, or both, because of the pressure of getting everything done on time and adequately. I feel weaker than I was a few years ago, because I don't have as much determination to succeed as I once had.

Maybe it's because I don't know where I'm going with all of this, or what the point is. I don't think it's right that we have to work all of our lives only to have a little bit of pleasure at the end of it when we can't even take full advantage due to our decrepitness. I want to be able to live this stupid life the way I want to, and I want everyone to be able to be happy, as well, and on their own terms. I'm wasting my youth away.

On a less melodramatic note, until tonight I had never seen the clouds so clearly at nighttime. It was so beautiful, I just kept staring at it despite the fact that I was making me veer off the lane a little bit on the freeway. It was okay, really. There aren't many cars around at 10 o'clock in the evening.

I suppose that'll be one of my antidotes to wasting away; taking the time to appreciate the beauty in life. And humor. Can't forget about humor.

He loves me not; he loves me.

Happy Valentines Day.

Or Single's Awareness Day. Whatever.

I, for no apparent reason, was smiling recklessly the past few days.

You'd think I might have been pulled over by now.

High Five!

I took this picture and thought it was pretty wicked

until I saw how I should have

combed my eyebrow or something beforehand.

Yes, it's okay. You can laugh. I know I did.

What I Am

Smart, healthy, dextrous, artistic, pretty, courteous,

considerate, selfish, unopinionated, gullible, shy, anxious,

evasive, dedicated, responsible, mature, childish, unsure,

logical, self-motivated, good, tolerant, compassionate,

distracted, tired, virginal, nostalgic, quick, frank, moody,

fanatic, democratic, patient, unspoiled, planned, secretive,

bashful, inquisitive, friendly, progressive, proud, observant,

biased, rational, sarcastic, relevant, careful, traditional,

and real.

Your turn.

You look like a master of disaster.

I had yet another dream. It was strange. Here goes:

Apparently, I was graduating from a school possibly one hundred stories tall embedded in the side of a beautifully red canyon. I was at the floor of the canyon, at a sort of wooden adult-version playground, like a place to exercise, I want to say. There were a couple of other students with me as well as a teacher explaining how we'd have to be in the band performing at the graduation. Since we'd be playing the drums, she was teaching us rhythm. I thought I had some rhythm already and was showing her by tapping my feet against the wood as I descended to the ground via the wooden stairs. I was pretty bad, though, haha. Anyway, we sat down and took a break beside some other students who were just chilling out about two to three feet away (gorgeous guys, you know).

Then suddenly there was an alarm sounding from the school behind us, sounding like the sirens of a nuclear plant meltdown, and everyone started panicking. We looked back at the school and there was a bright light glowing near the top floors of the school. Everyone on the grounds was running away from the canyon wall and the school towards the vast expanse of desert, and I was among the furthest from the school when I looked back to see the light growing brighter as it was inching its way down the floors of the school at a destructively slow pace. There was also a mushroom cloud forming over the school as if there had been an explosion, and I turned to run faster. I then woke up with my heart pounding.

I wish I had some sort of dream interpreter, because they've been vivid and distressing recently. But aside from that, I drew this in about an hour.

It's supposed to be Emmy Rossum. If she doesn't sound familiar, she played Christine Daae in the Phantom of the Opera, one of my favorite stories of all time. I'm a sucker for tragedy.

What did you expect?

New blog title. I think it's better. 'Nuff said. And I made the background, o'course. I just made it a bit different for DeviantART showing, too. I'm not sure which one I like more:

I had a pretty wicked dream last night. I think it ended up slightly nightmarish but I woke myself up before anything really happened.

The most I could remember was I was with a group of people on a grassy plot of land with an expanse of rolling hills around me. It was slightly windy, and there was a great feeling of importance about whatever it was we were doing. I was passing out pens and pencils I had in my hands to the people around me who all held scratch paper. Once we were finished passing out the pencils and writing something down on paper, everyone started walking down the hill, smiling with each other. I think it took a while for me to notice that people were leaving, because I was the last on the hill when I turned around. I felt a tug on the small of my back and I was suddenly pulled up into the sky extremely quickly. I turned around in midair and I was still being pulled around my waist upwards towards the overcast sky, but I felt like if I reached the clouds, something would get me, where I realized that I was dreaming and shook myself awake.

I've now had three dreams that I actually remember consisting of some sort of demons in the skies, two of which I had actually seen in my dreams, which I think were the same sort of monster: an extremely massive body of connected spheres, like a chain. In the story I wrote, I referred to them as fiery serpents, because in one of my dreams they looked as if they were aflame.

Freaky, neh? Did you guys have any weird or recurring dreams, lately? Gosh, I still remember some of my nightmares from almost ten years ago. Nothing particularly happened to me ten years ago, they're just dreams that I'll always remember. One isn't particularly interesting but very random, and the other is very interesting and scary because there's a creepy story behind it. I might share them next time.

Perfect.

You've got to feel bad for February, you know? February must feel pretty jipped for having only 28 days. Only once every four years the other months feel sorry for February and throw in an extra day, as if that makes up for it. And what about people who are born on February 29th? They only get a real birthday a quarter of the time as everyone else. That's just not fair.

I know I was already advertising Pandora radio in my last entry, but I freakin' love it that I'm doing it again. The sheer number of new awesome bands I've been introduced to just... I'm so flabbergasted I can't even finish that sentence properly. I love the station I made. If you want to get a feel for it, get your own (free) account and add Circa Survive, Paramore, and Eisley in the same station. It throws in some Saosin, Panic! at the Disco, Flyleaf, Breaking Benjamin, Thrice, Coheed and Cambria, Feist, The Hush Sound, Mute Math, and some amazing bands I've never heard of, like Copeland, Edison Glass, Fireflight, Secret and Whisper, Quietdrive, Piano Magic, The Receiving End of Sirens, Ash...

You can tell I'm excited, I'm sure. I'll try not to squeal too excessively.

My dad's birthday presents arrived. He got me probably five or six artist models all at different heights, and I laughed at how I really don't need that many but I still appreciate the sentiment. He also got me some more drawing pencils and a drawing book; I suppose it's a better one that I have now. It hasn't got perforations so they can be ripped out and framed right off the bat. It's prettier paper. Not that I've been drawing recently, nor will I have time to until well after the semester has run its course.